By: OU Banung
It is not that strange anymore to see gays walking along the street or having gays go together with. Still, it seems abnormal and quite surprised for Cambodian people to adopt lesbians. Thus, there are not many lesbians dare to show up themselves independently. And the rest are supposed to hide their identified because of the family and society gates.
“Being a lesbian is not the wish but it comes naturally.” Nhen Sombo said. In the aged 31, Sombo realized herself lesbian since she was a child and she was not able to change that though there was so much pressure. “I do not love man; still, I am an ordinary person as the others.” Sombo added.
There are notable reasons caused women change their perspective from loving men to women. Some women of course are interested in people who have the same sex rather than men naturally. Nonetheless, the other girls turn to pay attention to girls since they have had bad experiences with guys. Those may be cheated by their boyfriends. Or, they might used to face to violence which conducted by the man.
In the aged of 20, Jessica, who did ask not to reveal the real name; explained that she used to have many boyfriends but those guys usually make her pain. In contrast, lesbian are much more understand her feeling and always tread her warm.
“Before, I did not think I like homosexual people. But, after spending time with them especially lesbian, I found that they are quite warm. They care and understand me even little stuff while my boyfriends have never done at all.” Jessica confirmed. “Moreover, lesbian mostly does not need sex while man tends to ask for it from me.”
In addition, being a university student, Sothearoth, 22, could not recognize herself whether she is lesbian or not. And, she dares not to say out. But, what her emotion is she feels negative with men since her father did the domestic violence and left family.
“I don’t like men. They are irresponsible. They love to make women hurt and keep control on women while they themselves have many lovers.” “Honestly, I almost dare not to love men but I don’t think I am lesbian.”
However, being a lesbian faces to many challenges. First of all, the family is basic circumstance. And then, society which started from neighbor and working environment may abandon them. For instance, Sombo left home because she committed to be a lesbian. Then, in 1997 she applied as a worker in a garment factory in Phnom Penh, she was denied to employ since her appearance looked like a boy.
“I did feel isolated at that time, but I have never given up. It was actually hard at the beginning. However, now it seems release or I may get used to social discrimination. Currently, I am a security guard.”
To form the homosexual voice in the society in the purpose of reducing the social discrimination, Women’s Network for Unity (WNU) and Rainbow Community Kampuchea (ROCK) are working openly with gay and lesbian. Those two NGOs encourage homosexual people to show up themselves.
Noy Sitha, a volunteer in ROCK explained “ROCK plans to work with the homosexual people in the whole kingdom but now we reach 14 places including city and provinces. Our staff and volunteer are homosexual people. Actually, we form this for asking to have a legal and social acceptance. I believe homosexual remain since the past, but the point is that they were not brave enough to express themselves. Lesbian or gay are people. It is their freedom and personal decision to have happiness in their lives. Meanwhile, we also educate those lesbian and gay to be a normal people if they can. But, if they cannot change, ROCK and WNU still stay by them sides.”
On top of that, Somchan Sovandara, a Deputy Head of psychology department at Royal University of Phnom Penh (RUPP) commented that though there is no any specific research about lesbian or human gene of being a homosexual. Anyway, from his point of view, lesbian is increasing in Cambodian society comparing to the last decade.
“I figured out that lesbians started to increase while foreign cultures come to Cambodia. And some people are easy to adopt the foreign concept. In fact in 1993 while UNTAX arrived this country, Cambodia did change a lot in term of culture and stuffs. Also, another reason is that some men are not honest. They cheat women which making women broken heart. As a result, women glance to concentrate on women instant of guy.” Sovandara said,
However, Sor Samnang, a lecturer in a university in Phnom Penh commented about lesbian that being a lesbian do not only put family reputation down but also Cambodian culture.
“I would say they are spoiling their future and family reputation. If they show up themselves as lesbians, how their families keep standstill with the relatives and society. And how about their future career are gonna be.” Samnang mentioned, “especially, Cambodian culture has men love women, neither men love men, nor women love women. This is able to cause other foreign countries look down on our high and nice culture, tradition and civilization.”
To response with Samnang’s remark, Jessica clarified that “Before, I was scary with the eyes of people while they looked at me in the discriminate way though I did nothing wrong on them, just I am a lesbian. But at this instant, I stop caring about this at all. I love the way I am. Why I can’t choose my life to reach my happiness. Frankly, I don’t know why my life is going to end. Thus, I just want to spend with the time I have less to do what I really want to I am not begging for anyone interest, I am not calling anything, I did it because I want to.”
Last but no mean least, Sitha ended “Since women and women could not have sex like women and men, there are not that serious disease happen, for instance, sexually transmitted disease (STD) or HIV/AIDs. As a result, we hope the government will give a legal marriage to homosexual people as the ordinary people. And parents who have homosexual children would accept their nature. It is not all what they want to but it is destiny, no any force.”
