PAIN and PILL

Bittersweet

Phnom Penh: It is bitter, hard but cool. What is it? Have you ever had this kind of feeling? Some people may find this feeling differently. For instance, drinking alcohol or the strong tea. 

Possible! It sounds logical. Meanwhile, I might not be completely separated from the others; though everyone is unique. 

To me, to have this such of feeling is quite easy. By just only having a cup of cappuccino, I can create both strong and soft feeling at a time.

The strength are: it is hot because I don’t really like ice. It is bitter as I prefer not to have sugar. Importantly, it is hard and hurt since I have a bad stomach ache. Thus, anytime I drink coffee, I got pain in my stomach. Sometimes, my body and hands are trembling; plus, I get more saliva. I often feel vomit after drinking. Of course, it is sensation. So what?

Peaceful Silent

I am crazy? No, not really! It is actually physical hurt but I enjoy drinking coffee. Why, right? Because it is cool, soft and relax.

At the meantime, I say I am not a very critical observer but obviously I am. I am more likely to take thing into account and discuss personally. Maybe I am an easy effected person. I am serious and sensitive of course.

And that is the reason why I go out and drink a cup of hot cappuccino. In Cambodia, you might spend less than 0.50 USD to have a cup of coffee but I choose to spend at least 2 USD to pay for my cup. It is not about the money but it is the way satisfy life.

My mom sometimes complaints that to me “you are spending on what you should not.”  Man! It is not a fool but it brings me the sense of peace and happiness. 

I was not a coffee addicted before 2010. However, after that time past, I had my first experience in Europe (Sweden). I was already affected or influenced from the way of their living. Drinking hot coffee without sugar takes along me the Swedish feeling which I always missed and appreciated.

I am not alone

So, when I drink bitter coffee, I feel more enjoyable and cheer. I choose to get pain at the end of the day because I already got the mental pill and delighted memory while having coffee.  

This is called trend-off. People can’t get two awesome things at a time.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

មិនគ្រាន់តែជាដំបូងជ្រកភ្លៀង និងថ្ងៃ

It is just a house

ភ្នំពេញ​៖​ អ្វី​ជា​ផ្ទះ​? អ្នកណា​មិន​ដឹង​ ថា​អ្វី​ជា​ផ្ទះ​នោះ​?  ស្មាន​តែ​បាន​អី​នៅ​រាល់​ថ្ងៃ​ បើ​គ្មាន​ផ្ទះ​!

ជាការពិត​!​ ផ្ទះ​ជា​កន្លែង​មួយ​ដែល​មាន​ដំបូង​អាច​ឲ្យ​យើង​ជ្រក​ភ្លៀង​ និង​ថ្ងៃ​បាន​ ហើយ​វា​រឹត​តែ​ជា​កន្លែង​មួយ​ ផ្តល់​ការ​សម្រាក​ឲ្យ​យើង​ និង​ជា​ទីតាំង​អចិន្ត្រៃន៍​ សម្រាប់​ការ​រស់​នៅ​ក្នុង​សង្គម​មួយ​ជាមួយ​មនុស្ស​ផ្សេង​ទៀត​។​

តែ​ផ្ទះ​ សម្រាប់​ខ្ញុំ​ មិនមែន​មាន​ន័យ​ត្រឹម​តែ​ប៉ុណ្ណឹង​ទេ​។​ បើ​គ្រាន់​តែ​ត្រូវ​ការ​កន្លែង​បាំង​ថ្ងៃ ​  ក្រោម​ដើមឈើ​ក៏​បាន​ បើ​គ្រាន់​ត្រឹម​ជ្រក​ភ្លៀង​ ក្នុង​រូង​ភ្នំ​ក៏​រួច​ដែរ​។​

អ្នក​អាច​ឲ្យ​និយមន័យ​បាន​ច្រើន​ជាង​នេះ​ផង​ អាស្រ័យ​ដោយ​បុគ្គល​ និង​ចំណេះដឹង​ បូក​រួម​ជាមួយ​បទពិសោធន៍​ដោយ​ឡែក​ពី​គ្នា​។ យ៉ាង​ណា​មិញ​ អ្នក​មិន​មែន​ខ្ញុំ​ ហើយ​ខ្ញុំ​រឹត​តែ​មិន​ដូច​អ្នក​ផ្សេង​។​

A house in dream

ផ្ទះ​ជា​ក្តី​ស្រមៃ​ ជា​សុភមង្គល​ និង​ជា​ស្នាម​ញញឹម​ ដ៏​បរិបូរណ៍​ឥតខ្ចោះ​សម្រាប់មនុស្ស​សាមញ្ញ​ម្នាក់​ដូច​ជា​រូប​ខ្ញុំ​។ ​មិនមែន​ជា​វិទ្បា​ដ៏​ស្កឹម​ស្កៃ​ រឺ​ខ្ទម​កំសត់​ តែ​វា​គ្រាន់​ជា​ផ្ទះ​មួយ​ដែល​ធានា​បាន​នូវ​សុវត្តិភាព​ និង​ស្ថេរភាព​ ហើយ​អ្វី​ដែល​ធ្វើ​ឲ្យ​ផ្ទះ​មួយ​នេះ​ពោរពេញ​ដោយ​ពន្លឺ​នៃ​ភាតរភាព​នោះ​ គឺ​មនុស្ស​ជា​ស្រលាញ់​ម្នាក់​របស់​ខ្ញុំ​។​

អាច​ថា​អាត្មានិយម​ ទាមទារ​ រឺ​មិន​សម​ហេតុ​ (​ព្រោះ​មនុស្ស​ម្នាក់​ៗ​ តែង​តែ​មាន​គ្រួសារ​ ឪពុក​ម្តាយ ​ការងារ​ និង​ហេតុ​ផល​រៀង​ៗ​ខ្លួន​ )​ តែ​វា​ជា​អារម្មណ៍​ វា​មិនមែន​បន្ទាត់​មួយ​ត្រង់​ បែង​ចែក​ឲ្យ​ដាច់​រវាង​ គ្រួសារ​ មិត្តភ័ក្ត​ និង​ស្នេហា​នោះ​ទេ​។​

It is not a house, but home sweet home

ជា​បុគ្គល​ផ្ទាល់​ បើ​ទោះ​ជា​ផ្ទះ​តូច​ចង្អៀត​ រឺ​បន្ទប់​ជួល​ តែ​ជា​ជម្រក​ដ៏​កក់​ក្តៅ​ដែល​ពោរ​ពេញ​ដោយ​ពន្លឺ​ស្រទន់​នៃ​ស្នាម​ញញឹម​សុភមង្គល​ប្រកប​ដោយ​ក្តី​សង្ឃឹម​។​

ខ្ញុំ​សុំ​ផ្ទះ​មួយ​ដែល​អាច​ឲ្យ​ខ្ញុំ​សម្រាក​បាន​ ដោយ​មុន​បិទ​ភ្នែក​ឃើញ​គាត់​ជា​មនុស្ស​ចុង​ក្រោយ​ ពេល​បើក​ភ្នែក​ ឃើញ​គាត់​ជា​មនុស្ស​ដំបូង​។​

នេះ​ជា​ផ្ទះ​    ផ្ទះ​ដែល​ខ្ញុំ​រំភើប​ចង់​បាន​ តែ​តើ​វា​គ្រាន់​រឿង​កំប្លែង​ សម្រាប់​និទាន​មុន​ចូល​គេង​មែន​ទេ​?​

ដោយ៖ អនង្គ

Death heaven

My Sand Palace 

PHNOM PENH: What people scary the most? Dying? Possible because there is no going back and forth. 

Unlike, I believe no one could stay still forever. I experience of losing my beloved aunts who loved and cared me the most. Thus, I of course have thought that I might die in any second. Life, to me, is so short.

Sand star, a memory with you

This idea was believed as a very bad expectation ever for those who are the religious followers. Still, I don’t mind. I believe that is very obvious. I always tell people and myself that I do my best for everything, save every minute. Therefore, I set a policy for myself. “I do what I say, I say what I saw and thought.” Honestly, I was uncounted fail this rule. But, I didn’t give up. I just felt I am just on the way. It might be just a starting or on the half way to reach the success. 

Beauty of Khmer sea

Anyway, I just wish to be somewhere I like after I died. Wave, sand, also rock are my favourite things. I love eating seafood. Then, sea is my death heaven. I don’t mind for burning just a death body. I just ask to leave those bones into the sea.

My favorite sea food

To me, waves are the hope. They never stop, keep moving and never tired of starting again and again. During this life, I have committed million things in life. Sometimes, I actually and honestly help people, at the same time, I might hurt the others unintentionally.

I am not perfect. I am just a person. I need peace. I love smile. I just hope and wish to see people living happily as they wish too. I don’t need anyone to remember me, though I have never forgotten them. 

Sea, sand and beach

Please, do the thing with respective, ethical and responsible. 
Value your current time. Do what making you to be happy but make sure you are not hurting someone else.

Warmest, Nisai!

Waves = Hope